Four years ago I would have been singing "My Bold Curiosity", instead, now I'm singing "Your Comfort Zone".
My present is less about me. It's against me.
My english is more accented, there's more t's and less d's. Endings are clear. Although more experienced still naive, my weak conversation attempts... Like a tragedy when spelling the wrong notes. At least I know when to speak less. Does it make me a good listener or an intelligent speaker? Or does it not make me a plain girl right about to let go and cry?
Everybody is full of themselves. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me... When these 'selfishness's cross at some point, they start getting along. Else, they don't even hear each other. "Listen to me!", "Where are you? We need to talk", "Call me", "Are you even online?"... People are in love with the effect of their narcissism on somebody else. They like taking their own photos, frame it and hang it on their walls; jerk off to it, love it, stare at it. When they're bored they'll put their mirror image instead; and jerk off with their opposite hands. But human beings can't live alone. They need being in a group. They need to be separated in genders. They need to love to feel they exist. They need to make children to leave something of their own to this world after they die. Reverse it, undo it, don't do it. One shouldn't live according to norms, traditions, sanctions. Whatever I feel like, I can act accordingly, in harmony. I don't have to change anything in me. I don't have to alter what I want, to fit this world/other people's thoughts. I want to be me, and not be afraid of being me. I want to be not afraid of losing what I want. 欲しいもの得るから。It's because of the same reason I respect myself. People should learn when to camouflage and where to expose themselves.
Two opposite things are not supposed to exist together. Yet they do in my world. And that's why I'm not a plain girl.
PS to myself: Stop editing a hundred times what you just wrote!!
No comments:
Post a Comment